A sports mad Goan nun who
lives for her little “angels”
Sister Trifa De Souza (aka the
“wild one”) a few years ago marked 50 years as a Catholic nun in the service of children,
especially very young and abandoned girls, in Kenya. A champion athlete and a
star hockey player once, today she loves Gor Mahia, Manchester United and is an
ardent fan of the Kenya Sevens rugby team. She may scowl or even look a little
cross, but there is always a large smile on face and her arms reach out in warm
embrace of all the children who need her and the many people she meets every
day. She is currently at Edelvale women’s complex in Nairobi.
By CYPRIAN FERNANDES
THE saintly Mother Teresa is said to have first
received her calling to religious service at the age 12 and later again at the
age of 18. It was then that she was convinced where her future lay. As a child,
she was exceptionally devout. The same could never be said about Kenyan Sr.
Trifa De Souza. As a child she was never devout. In fact, she was quite the
opposite.
Virtually every Roman Catholic Goan household
gathered each evening to say the rosary. Some ultra-devout worshippers used to
kneel on cement floors for more than an hour. The centre piece in every home,
be it a single room or a several roomed house, was an altar with clay figurines
of the family’s favourite saints especially St Francis Xavier and Christ on the
Cross as well as several pictures of Mary with Jesus, the Sacred Heart of Jesus
and several saints.
As a child, Trifa was not a fan. She “fought”
with her dad about saying the rosary, attending Mass daily and other religious
functions. As she grew, up sport was her main focus. Very quickly she was a
champion sprinter at the Dr Ribeiro Goan School and later a star hockey player.
She had a special partner in her sports adventures, her twin sister Nifa. In
fact, the bond between was strong in almost every aspect of life. When they in
races as children, if one was lagging behind the other would stop and come back
and stretch a helping hand. Naturally, they didn’t win and it drove their
father to distraction. So a religious life was the furthest thought from her
mind. When a priest pressed her to consider a life of the nun’s habit, she was
quick to tell him: “Not on your life.”
Yet, for two years, that snap outburst tormented
her and she was filled with a little remorse and a lot of regret. Eventually,
in the hope her action would an exercise in futility and fail miserably, she
wrote to a convent applying for admission. The moment she placed the letter in
a post box, she prayed that they would turn her down. After all, life was
pretty good. She was the sports girl of the moment, loved travelling around the
world. She visited Uganda, Tanzania, Uganda and South Africa to play hockey. She
was such a good sprinter and the only reason she did not represent Kenya at the
Commonwealth Games was because she had a Portuguese passport. There were lots
of boys who were trying desperately to win her heart. Being a reasonably
sensible girl, she really could not see any reason to give it all up. Imagine
her shock when she received a letter from the Congregation of the Sisters of Our
Lady of Charity accepting her.
“God has strange ways and what he wants He gets
and on 25 January 1967 on the Feast of Conversion of St Paul I started my
Postulancy in Redcote Convent, Bitterne, Southampton. At that time the
Church was going through transition so life in the Convent to a certain extent
was monastic. It was tough, the food , the weather, the rules all
were difficult. We couldn't talk in corridors and there was I breaking all the
rules and getting into trouble but enjoyed life without complaining,” she
explains
“It was difficult leaving my family, my boyfriends, the wild way of life doing
what I wanted to do climbing trees, watching football matches, other sports and
taking part in athletics and hockey. It was most difficult leaving my twin
sister Nifa. It took me years but I fought it and kept going.
“I entered the convent on January 25, 1966, was
a Postulant for one year, then two years as a novitiate and four years later
took my final vows in England.
“It was a tough, semi monastic life, strict
rules, don’t do this, don’t do that but I was myself and with His help came
through.
“I came to Kenya after that in 1979 saw so many
changes, but it was good to be home.”
Thus began her life with the Sisters of our Lady
of Charity and with her fellow nuns began a devotion that was dedicated to
helping very young children, girls who had run away from home or children
brought to Edelvale by the social services. The nuns’ chief aim is instill a
sense dignity, provide a sanctuary and provide them with an education and
prepare them the wider world.
While Sister Trifa did most of her work in the
office, the children were never out of her mind, her thoughts or constant
prayers. She also wore the mantle of a feisty fundraiser and made regularly
safaris to the UK to twist a few ex-Dr Ribeiro students’ arms at various fund
raisers. And she is very good at it. She has convinced the Nairobi Indian
community to provide items of food including flour, sugar, rice etc, once every
two months or so.
“Education, especially, secondary schools are
very expensive and we need all the help we can get,” she told me on the phone.
She is off to England on another pesa (money) for
Mama (beggar) maskini safari in a week or two.
After finishing secondary school, the students also get to do courses in dress
making, IT, hair dressing, and the other career choices.
She cannot speak highly enough of her sisters
and brothers and their extended families who have assisted her over the years.
Also, many Dr Ribeiro ex-students, especially in the UK (and other parts of the
world including Canada) have held mini harambee
parties to raise money for Trifa’s wasichana
wadogo.
Her heart has remained broken from the day Nifa
died in 1994. Many years before Nifa had been seriously injured in a car
accident in Park Road, Nairobi, not far from where the twins had said goodbye
to each other and headed for work, Trifa at the GPO in the city and Nifa in the
industrial area. Minutes later, the whole of Nifa’s face was shattered. Just
when she arrived at work, Trifa was given the horrific news. From that day,
Trifa’s was heavy. “I knew something was wrong. My head was aching and I had
that feeling something was wrong,” Trifa recalls. “The same thing happened the
day she passed away, my body told me that she was dead.”
For a long, long time after that Trifa went
through her own personal hell, grieving her sister. In the end, she slowly
plucked up the courage to carry on caring for her children.
However, don’t let her fool you. There was
always a little bit of God in her. She told me that before her races and hockey
matches she used to have regular conversations with Him. What is also true, she
told me, she used to regularly “fight” with Him, when something pretty awful
happened to someone she knew. These days, she has even longer talks with him.
She said the other day, “So you thought I needed a short holiday and you
dislocated my shoulder. That’s OK; I could do with a break.”
She says: “God created me to enjoy life, so I am
enjoying life.”
The single most unforgettable thing about Sister
Trifa is that she is almost cheeky, yet sometimes naughty, but there is always
an innocent twinkle in her eyes. As a child she got up to all sorts of
mischief. Once when I wrote that she looked “serene” in a photograph, she was
quick to chide me with “I am anything but serene”. Her school chums would say that she was
something of a tomboy.
She loved school as she grew older. She began in Standard 1 and finished
in Form 4. “In the higher classes we were full of life, teachers both male
and female having a difficult time one or two girls in class were quiet the
rest of us quite noisy, and our Headmaster Mr. Alexander Carvalho, and a few teachers
like Dolly Carvalho, Irene Coelho, Mr. Joseph Martins, Mr. Sandy Tavares, Mrs.
Lily Jaquez had endless patience with us but with their care and love for us as
students got us through. We didn't speak English very well.”
While at school she fell in love with athletics:
“At the age of 13, I ran 100 and 200 yards sprints and the long Jump and won. The
winners usually received clothing items like socks, scarves etc. This gave me
the urge to do well not for the prizes but to get to the top.
“When I finished school, a group of us (formed
the famous Spartans athletics club) who were interested in running got together
decided to run the relays. We travelled to Mombasa every Easter to run at the
annual races there and enjoyed our success. In Nairobi, we took part in the annual
Goan Institute Sports Day that took place every December 26 and it meant that
we could not eat the wonderful Goan Christmas sweets and chocolates until after
the races.
“On one of my first trips to Mombasa, I won the Godgodo Challenge Cup
(for a winning a sprint race three years in a row). That gave me the urge to continue
in athletics and the winning streak went on for years. I didn't give up until I
joined religious Life. Over the years I received many cups and big trophies and
over 500 small trophies, all solid silver.”
One year, a few former Goan School students
formed what was to be the most successful women’s hockey club: The unbeatable
Collegians. Trifa was a little scared of being injured but eventually took to
the sport after her sister Nifa pestered her to join the team. “The Collegians
did very well with the support of many people of many shades. We played against
the National Team consisting of all Europeans at the time and defeated them on
a few occasions. As we came closer to Independence, Bertha Fernandes and I were
selected to play for Kenya. During my time as a member of Collegians Hockey
Club, I was chosen as Captain of the Collegians and I decided, with the help of
other senior players, to take the team to Uganda where we did not lose a single
game. A few years later, we took a junior and a senior team to Tanganyika and
Zanzibar where again we drew one game and won the rest.”
That wonderful Goan and one of the finest
international hockey umpires, Peter (Babs) Barbosa, was a family friend. They
were three musketeers, Babs, Nifa and Trifa. One would always seem them
together. They were a familiar sight walking to church from home in Eastleigh,
at the hockey matches and other sports functions. The big question was: who was
Peter going to marry? It had to be Trifa, after all, he bought her first car a
Ford Prefect. However, once when a friend had the gumption to jokingly ask him
the question, he replied: “I will marry all four of the De Souza girls.”
Trifa loves all sports “but my favourite was
Athletics and Hockey second. I am still interested in all sports. My favourite international team is Manchester
United (from that fateful day in February 1958 when 43 people including
players, officials and journalists lost their lives in plane crash returning
home from a match in Germany), my local Team is Gor Mahia (“because they are
special”). “At the moment my favourite sport is Rugby and my Team Kenya Sevens
is doing fairly well.” Her only regret is that these days, she rarely gets to
see live sport unless someone takes her there.
Uhuru came on December 12, 1963, followed by
Madaraka the following year.” The celebrations were full of life
with all people living in Kenya celebrating their freedom. The way I looked at
freedom was that I was no longer a second class citizen because of my colour.
“There were other difficulties after independence
when all jobs were Africanized and so those in Government jobs were forced to
retire. I was given the opportunity by my friends the Kenyans who were in
charge to remain but chose to retire from the Post Office with a pension of 10
Kenya shillings a month. I worked in various clerical positions.
“The Post Office at the time was Semi-Government.
The salary I received when I started in 1950 was 100 shillings a month with an
increment of Shs.20 each year while my sister was earning shs.6000/- Due to my
boyish behaviour my dad would not allow me to look for another job. I was happy
there working with all the men. The reason why dad did not allow me to move was because
he asked Mr. D'Costa to keep an eye on me. The poor man had a dog’s life
because of me. His folks are still my good friends remind me of the hard time I
gave him. I loved the old man very
much.
“The old man had a job to keep me in line and
in the end he was the one who had it rough. I loved the old man and all the men
Africans, Indians, Muslims and Goans that I worked with in the office including
my big bosses who were Europeans, they looked after me in spite of the hard
time I gave them with my wild behaviour.
“I used to play tricks on them. There used to be
complaints that I was seen outside for the best part of the day. They did not know
it was my identical twin Nifa and it was hard to tell us apart because we also
dressed identically.”
Seriously, though. Trifa’s life is really only
about the children and about prayer. She wakes each morning at 4 o’clock and
begins and ends the day in constant prayer. “That is what keeps me going. If He
should call me, I am ready,” she says with that cheeky smile of hers.
As she says her prayers, her face is lit by the
memory of the thousands of girls the Sisters of our Lady of Charity have been
able help and prepare them for a future in Kenya.
These days she looks forward to a day out with
the Goan senior citizens in Nairobi. When she goes to the UK, she loves to cook
at her sister’s home. Her favourite is fish reschado or a pork curry. She is
crazy about deserts, especially a devilish thing called “tipsy cake” with lots
of sherry and liqueurs.
Another Kenyan Goan currently based in the UK,
Father Tony Fernandes, says: “We are extremely grateful to the many who played
an important role in our lives as students. Some of us developed friendships
with quite a few we found to be role models and dedicated to the community. One
such person is Sr Trifa.
“I was formally introduced to her by the late Fr
Tony Pinto who took me to visit her. Her example of fervent and humble service
to the children she was working with was very inspirational and moving. I am
indebted to have had such an example and model to focus my own work among young
people today. God Bless her.”
One of her hockey colleagues was Alvira (D’Sa)
Almeida who recalls “She bonded us together as a team. Trifa had a way of
getting the best out of each member of her team. She was easily the best player
in the side who also ran faster than most other players. She never criticised,
just encouraged us and told us to move on.
Sr Trifa is the kind of person whose company we
treasure. By the way, we have all got used to her bluntness.
No comments:
Post a Comment